To help with my detachment, I had to take off my wedding ring. Today is a bit of an anniversary of sorts as it was 4 years ago that I "got it". By got it, I mean I had a few months of sorting out things and finally understood the WAW. More important than that was I understood and accepted my contributions to our R.
Still trying to process my guilt at letting it slide again. It's a tough pill to swallow as I was onto something 4 years ago in my own personal development, but let things slip. Woulda, coulda, shoulda doesn't help right now.
So it is relieving to have my ring off because otherwise I feel like I'm holding on and grasping at straws. "Hope is a Prison" in a way as you go through this stuff.
I can see my detachment is having some impacts with the W. As she left for work today, she was telling me about her day and what she was doing. I wasn't rude or anything, but uninterested. She then said, "Just telling you my day because that's what I always do." I could sense sadness on her part in this. I know this does not mean anything really in the grand scheme of things, but it helps in detaching for me personally.
She's got plans to go to dinner with one of her best friends who just told her H that she thinks they will not make it in their M. Misery loves company? I'm glad she's getting out to continue to release the pain she has.
It's weird processing the ring / detachment and not feel like you're giving up on the M. If anything, it really takes courage to make this step in acknowledging everything, but hard shaking some feelings of "throwing in the towel".
What advice does anyone have in trying to process the feelings of giving up on your M vs. detachment like my comment on the ring?
Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10 Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13 Reconcile: 07/07/13 Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17 Apartment Life: 04/21/17 PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
