Wife with Neighbor Across the Street

[Bdog37]

Then, Id take your master bedroom back. Why on earth are you sleeping on the couch? Your W is out sleeping in another man's bed and you are letting *HER* have the bedroom? Forget that. Id boot her stuff out of there.

^^^^Absolutely!

[sellout]

Update: she went over there again last night, this time after his kids were in bed and sleeping. Came back home at 6:30am. I hit my breaking point and its OVER. Court on April 5th and I am taking her to the cleaners. Enough said!!!

[MoveFrwd]

Update: she went over there again last night, this time after his kids were in bed and sleeping. Came back home at 6:30am. I hit my breaking point and its OVER. Court on April 5th and I am taking her to the cleaners. Enough said!!!

Well, the wait as long as I can plan went off the rails quickly.

That said, I dont fault you for filing. I think its disrespectful to your family to be cake eating to this degree.

I would caution you that just because you are divorced legally doesnt mean anything as far as detachment is concerned. So what will you do to recover from this in a healthy way?

[sellout]

I held on for almost 3 months of her cake eating. Literally watching her walk across the street each night and come back in the mornings. I am shocked I lasted this long. The crazy thing is, after I hired my attorney and showed her the paperwork, she spent the night at home for the first time in a while. Coincidence? Maybe.. Should be a interesting road from here on out. My focus is on my son, and giving him the most comfortable/stable environment. Weird how your feelings shift daily. I was so angry and mad yesterday and now I am calm and somewhat relived. Tomorrow I may feel different. Is this normal?

[Dawgs]

Is this normal?

Yes and will continue until the court date is set and then again until you go to court - unless you do mediation. And, when you are divorced, it will feel so liberating...

[sellout]

So its been a few days and wanted to provide an update and get some opinions. As a reminder, I hired my attorney for the divorce last week. To my knowledge, she has yet to hire an attorney. We are both still living in the family home and she is walking across the street to spend the night with the OM. She waits until our son goes to sleep and then comes back in before he wakes. We have said very few words to each other over the last 5 days and even fewer texts. I have since started staying away from the home more and becoming a little more "unpredictable". I am still being a good father as that comes first. During this time I have dropped about 20 lbs, and have become more attractive. As we all know the divorce will most likely take at least 6 months to finalize. Any recommendations during this time? She has obviously fallen head over heels for this man but do we all think she is truly happy or is this her way of coping and getting away from the situation? Will her relationship with him last? As much as it embarrasses me to say, TODAY...if she were to come to me and say she broke it off with OM and wants to work on our marriage, I would say yes. But in the meantime, I have to act and get it into my head that day will NEVER come and I am moving on to the next chapter. I really want to see other women to get a jump start on this process and honestly to show wife that I am capable of getting another woman with no problem. Is this a bad idea? Should I hold off on dating until divorce is final or start now. Would't wife see me as more attractive if she found out I found a new little hottie? Thoughts???

[Dawgs]

Should I hold off on dating until divorce is final or start now.

That is a no-brainer. Hold off.

Would't wife see me as more attractive if she found out I found a new little hottie?

No.

[annab74]

I really want to see other women to get a jump start on this process and honestly to show wife that I am capable of getting another woman with no problem. Is this a bad idea? Should I hold off on dating until divorce is final or start now. Would't wife see me as more attractive if she found out I found a new little hottie? Thoughts???

It really would not be kind to drag a third party into your situation just to use them to make W jealous. What if that person ended up having real feelings for you? You can GAL, do your own thing, and let W wonder. Mystery is attractive. But complicating your situation with another woman at this juncture is probably not a good idea.

[sellout]

Yeah, you guys are right. Keeping it a mystery is probably the best. So, is she truly in love or coping in your opinion? The OM is is 6 years older than me, not attractive, doesn't make as much $ etc... of course none of these things matter but what gives?

[LITB]

You need to work on yourself first and foremost. You can read back through your thread and see the emotional roller coaster you are on.

My suggestion would be to make progress to become emotionally stable. I would also suggest that you not jump right back into a relationship with your W so quickly. Reason being, is because neither of you are prepared to have a healthy relationship and you will just cycle back to destructive patterns.

Lastly, please don't start dating. There are many reasons not to date.