Alright, there is way too much activity on this thread for me to keep up with but I'm trying. Here's the first draft of my list. I need to reflect on it some more, but its a start. Any comments welcome.
Things about W that I will consider 1. Her (newly recognized?) need to take care of herself. 2. Her need for me to listen to her talk just about her, and for me to just listen (often repeating long wandering stories, a lot about her job). 3. Her low sex drive, her conservative sexual style. 4. Her regular, pervasive, and perpetual lateness (being late for everything, staying up late, eating late,...). 5. Her high expectations for getting projects done around the house.
Things about ME that I will consider 1. My wants and needs, and not expressing them as demands. 2. My strong need for affection (physical and otherwise) and affirmation. 3. My tendency to withdraw, close up, or get grumpy. 4. My tendency to be black and white, to think in either/or terms, to be judgemental. 5. My tendency to spend money.
Things I have considered and will not allow in my M 1. Emotional or physical affairs--if we get back together (I am only tolerating it now because we are in limboland). 2. Lack of affection--both verbal and physical. 3. Lateness when it has a serious negative impact on us or others.
BTW, I went to a luncheon seminar today, and one thing the speaker said really stuck out. He said that young love is loving your partner for what they do right, mature love is loving them in spite of what they do wrong.
but I'm trying. Here's the first draft of my list. I need to reflect on it some more, but its a start. Any comments welcome.
