First time post feeling lost and confused

[dodog]

Hi kevinin no I didn't whikstvthere but she has just called me and I cracked. But it would seem there is no going back with her so I need to just try and forget any chance of reconciling. She has spoken with a child psychologist who is a friend of a friend and they have come back with the following to tell my eldest


I think two things are important:
1) The "story" as it were that Daughter hears is consistent from you and her dad and
2) the explanation and method of delivery are within her level of comprehension

I would recommend having a really clear conversation with her dad as to what you are going to tell Daughter as close to the truth as possible but something she is happy to hear. What you don't want to happen is for Daughter to hear 2 "sides" and not make sense of this, then potentially think it is something to do with her as it doesn't feel genuine.

I would recommend , once you have both decided on a clear and consistent story, that you write this down into a story book for her in order that you can explain it to her and she can keep referring back to it. I'd photocopy it so she has a copy at yours and her dad's.

The thing you want to avoid is that dad says something against you and you say things against him. I'd put lots of positive things in the story like

" We both love you very much" and " when mummy and daddy had you they loved each other lots , but now they just want to be friends"

Explain what will happen practically, like " daddy will move to ...." " Daughter will still get to see daddy x times a week and she can call him when she likes"

Really not looking forward to dobthis but the wife is adamant that this is over and wants to start telling her bits.

I am actually a bit better now than I was knowing that I don't have a cat in hells chance of bringing my wife back makes me a bit more stronger if you catch my drift.