Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Underdog]

I'm not asking for permission to feel what I feel or standing up and pulling a Horshack and yelling, "Oh, Oh, pick me, Mr. W. pick me!"

I'm going to be very explicit here: I really don't care which one he picks. As another non-posting DBer pointed out to an e-mail message to me, this is a "sh!t or get off the pot" letter. That it is. And I'm not arguing that point at all.

Your objections are duly noted, but I am hitting the off button to this roller coaster once he tells me what he wants to do. Realize that it's what I want to do right now. However, I would like for him to tell me what he wants to do specifically. I need to hear the words.

If he's in, I'll back off and let the MC take the reins. If not, my fingers are dialing the mediator post haste and I'm going to initiate this divorce once and for all.

Yes, I have not committed to the timing. In fact, I will probably run this by MC before giving it to him. Or I might not. This letter is long time coming and is not rash or in the vein of my crazymaking ways.

I really don't give a rats ass if he needs more time. For over 4 months, I've been fearing that the only way that Mr. Wonderful will make a decision is if someone holds his feet to the fire. It's now become crystal clear.

In fact, I should have known this was the case long ago. Working in the world of military defense, engineers get used to de-prioritizing things that are not on the front burner and bubbling over. In order to get that sort of attention, some 4 star has to come screaming, "I ASKED FOR THAT INFORMATION AND I NEED IT YESTERDAY!"

I had the soft discussion with him nearly one month ago, after I was forced to meet with a military clearance investigator. A person whose job it is to make sure that Mr. Wonderful is not a threat to our country.

I had the most wonderful convo with Mr. W. after meeting with the investigator, asking for him to make a decision. Meredith, this is the last time he told me that he had deliberately put me out of his mind because he didn't want to think about me or the miserable state of things. He apologized profusely for fence sitting and hurting me with his indecision.

He promised to begin examining himself so that he could give me some answers.

Then the night I left for DC, I was ready to board the plane when he called--telling me that he was not ready to make a decision about our future, nor was he likely to do so in the near future. Why the hell not?

So consider my letter the civilian equivalent of a 4 star, asking him for information that I need yesterday.

Thank you to the friends who have written me off the BB. I appreciate your input, suggestions and support.

There is a season for everything guys. I want the chance to live my life in peace with happiness, with my daughters. I am no longer willing to allow him to dictate the terms of how I can do this. It's been going on for almost 2 years now, and the time has come to end this stagnation once and for all.

Capisce?