I finally watched Finding Nemo last night so at last I know what you are all referring to when you talk about sharks, not eating fish, "just keep swimming" etc etc etc!!
About the sarcasm issue, my H uses sarcasm a lot, and an even worse defence - "It was a joke". So he can say any damn thing, however badly timed, ill conceived, mean, thoughtless, whatever, and if I react badly or negatively, my H can then look pious and say "For God's sake, that was a joke!!" So he never has to own any of his comments and remarks.
This weekend he was telling me the outline of his idea for his novella. Well, it was very sketchy, and when I queried bits which didn't make sense, he rounded on me with great arrogance about the fact that I hadn't understood some particular point. Even when I told him that he hadn't in fact made something clear, I was supposed to just know.
Some of you guys also touched on the fact that once the bombshell has dropped, the WAS think that everything they do thereafter is in fact KOSHER, including having an A with your best friend etc. After all, they were HONEST with you about how they didn't love you any more!!!
I read an article a while ago, rather jokey, about signs of MLC in men, and one of them is that they are full of arrogance and speak as if they are uniquely and supremely intellegent while everyone else has the IQ of a protozoa! I spotted that one in my H!
Now, I'm not going to join in with your homework assignement just yet, but I do have a question -
To all you women with the H's out there who won't commit, want to have their cake and want to eat it too, never do what they say they will, can't communicate, never turn up on time, don't remember your birthdays, etc.
Has your H actually changed over the years, or did you just not recognise these behaviours in the early years of the marriage? Were they somewhat masked by your common idealism and being in love?
If I am very honest, most of my H's present unlovely traits are ones that he has always had, they are just very much more pronounced now, as H has cut free from me and the R and feels no need to temper his behaviour towards me. He doesn't 'owe' me his best behaviour any more, and I am getting the full blast of it. I suspect the same is quite often the case with others here. What do you think?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
