It's a sh*t or get off the pot letter and lays it all out on the line. It acknowldges that M is hard work and she is prepared to do it--but if Mr. W is not or will never be--then it's time to move on. Read Betsey's note to Slowly on anger--she sounds comfortable with this letter. Sure she wants the M to work, but she has reached the conclusion that Mr. W is just punching the clock and must be brought to the table. It seems to me that for Betsey, C is not about resolving Mr. W's ambivalance, but working on the M or not. If his answer is no, she is ready to move on. Sad, but the end of a long road.
Look, every sitch is different, and I know that for me personally, I am nowhere near that point of the road--although I might be a lot closer if I got to keep my kids (and I suspect W might be acting a bit differently if that in fact were reality). All we can do on this board is give our thoughts as best as possible and integrate the comments of others into our attempted solutions. If we're open--we'll recognize any flaws in our thinking or the need for modifications. But ultimately, it's Betsy's decion. Go Underdog!
