After we put S to bed I retreat into my room and watch t.v., read, talk on the phone, and/or do some knitting. I had a session with my EMDR therapist yesterday, but didn't do any EMDR. We just talked. I had to get some things off my chest.
One of the things we talked about is whether I should confront D about getting the letter from the court regarding the filing. My instinct is no, I will not do the work for him. The therapist challenged me about settling into old patterns. For me, an old pattern would be to confront. And oh boy, would I. But I guess I should ask, am I avoiding/stalling or am I doing something different. I don't the answer to that right now.
Part of me feels that this is HIS divorce therefore, he should do the work. If I come forward, in essence, I would be serving myself and relieving him of that responsibility. Why should I lift a finger to make things easier for him? That sounds bitter, doesn't it.
So far, no PA comments this week. Also, no "I'm so old" comments. (Watch tonight it'll all start up again.) But then again, we are interacting less and less. We are both probably pulling away from each other.
I found myself missing my dog so much last night. I'm sure my loneliness triggered it. I live in a house with two other people and yet it leaves me feeling so alone.
