Flying Blind

[25yearsmlc]

Doodler my friend, how are you?

It seems like most child abusers have a partner; it may be a passive partner, but a partner nevertheless. The passive partner(s) tend to know what's going on, but they make excuses and look the other way and make it easy for the abuser to carry on the abuse. That's as hateful as the actual abuse.

Yes it is. That's another nuke I have waiting in the wings just in case scorched earth is forced upon me...

Not sure what this^^ claim or advice is based on, but I did criminal defense for 4 years. Less than 1/3 of the sex offenders I represented had culpable partners, many had no partners.

In the DB books, going nuclear isn't discussed. And this is a DB site...

I understand you worry about your children and the OM, Jeep. Still, I feel like anger (which is understandable) is just running rampant in this theme.

Anger may FEEL better than grief, it may be more familiar, but I'm not sure it's any healthier. Grief is not random depression.

It's a response to a loss. Sometimes so is anger. But managing our emotions is a goal here, not pursuing them or encouraging others to fully explore theirs and act on it.

I get the pain you are in. And the anger. (Trust me, I get it). But you have children and the anger is predominant in your posts.

But holding onto anger to punish someone else,

is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes.

It's consuming to us, not the WAS. Letting go of the anger isn't condoning their behavior either.

It's damage control for us. You were wronged, Jeep. No question. So was I for that matter.

I just don't want to be defined by it. I think suggesting that others go for the jugular or the nuclear weapon should be held in reserve, and or assuming all WAS's are cheating liars, well, I'm not sure how helpful or constructive it is. Or accurate.

Please consider this.