I'm also trying to create a loss, and consequences for her actions. Sandi says these are good things, that W has no respect or attraction towards me
That does need to change. But you have to get all of your ducks in a row before respect, much less attraction is even considered. You know the rule - respect is earned, not given. And your actions over the marriage haven't given her a reason to respect her. Threats/damage/consequences don't either.
Attraction is a whole different ball game. Attractions change as we grow. Maybe she is no longer attracted to your look, etc. That's entirely possible, and it may never come back. What then?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I'm also trying to create a loss, and consequences for her actions. Sandi says these are good things, that W has no respect or attraction towards me
That does need to change. But you have to get all of your ducks in a row before respect, much less attraction is even considered. You know the rule - respect is earned, not given. And your actions over the marriage haven't given her a reason to respect her. Threats/damage/consequences don't either.
Attraction is a whole different ball game. Attractions change as we grow. Maybe she is no longer attracted to your look, etc. That's entirely possible, and it may never come back. What then?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I told the OM in my case that he could have my wife, but if he ever stepped foot near my kids that I'd break his legs. No joking around. Man up or get out.
Love it Jeep! Luckily, for me, OM2 knows who I am so no need to say anything.
Wsh, I would stop focusing so much on W and OM. What would have happened if you had seen her in the car with him at the drive thru? You can't stop her from seeing him so there is no point in driving yourself crazy thinking about them together. Also, IMO, I think the only time anyone needs details in regards to their S's A is when they are willing to work on the M. It is a way of building back some trust. If your W is not willing to work on the M then let it go. You don't want to know the details anymore.
Quote:
I gave him their numbers. If they ask me how he got their numbers, then I'll just tell the truth, that he asked for their numbers. My wife really likes him. So she shouldn't be mad if he calls.
She may see it as you trying to have someone convince her to get back with you. Even if she likes the pastor this may backfire so just be prepared if it does.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
what are you doing to become the man you want to become?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
LOL. I feel like I keep answering that question, 25. I appreciate you all pushing me, though.
I got an appointment with a counselor today for next Wednesday. I am reading Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. I'm working out. I'm probably the highest weight I've ever been. It's a slow climb, but about 1 to 2 pounds a month, which I've read is realistic to expect. I hang out with the friend that I made as often as he has time for. I read this site. The church is going to have one of those mentor guys contact me. I've gone to church 4 of the 5 last Sundays. Today, I weeded a flower bed in the back yard. It's very painful to be back there because I haven't been back there much. The back yard reminds me of my wife and dog more than the house does because I've spent a lot more time in the house. I felt a lot better after doing the weeding. My wife has left me with a big yard full of flower beds that I've got to take care of without her. It's going to be very sad mowing her vegetable garden, too. I'm also keeping up with my job, keeping everyone happy there. I've gotten a lot of praise at work since my wife left. So, I'm very glad I've been able to keep up with that. I've been extra sad about my wife over the last few days, though. I have been hanging out with and getting a lot of support from my parents, but that probably doesn't count as GAL. I'm going to do more GAL, once I figure out more that I want to do. Thinking about going for that flight school.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
Don't think about going to flight school. Just do it.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Don't think about going to flight school. Just do it.
What he^^ said.
AND do something that has other people in it.
Good job at the job. Just wanting you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. I'm not lying when I say it'll help you.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Don't think about going to flight school. Just do it.
^Yep. Did it at one of the duty stations a few years ago. Loved it!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
