Bird, Trying to negotiate w/a MLCer is like trying to negotiate w/a moving target. Why? Because what he wants will change from one time to the next and it doesn't matter if he agrees to whatever you are proposing today or not because unless it is locked down in a signed, sealed legal document, it's not going to stick. Also, even once it is legal document, he's still going to try to get away w/o paying you what the court deems appropriate. So, my advice, stick to what your state says is proper in the way of alimony and whatever else they state.
As for the house and him helping you...don't expect it because he's not going to do it. They expect us to clean up everything and hand them whatever they want on a silver platter.
Let me just say this, my xh screamed bloody murder wanting a separation or a divorce whichever came first and once I got the ball rolling and had his "stipulations" put in the draft legal separation papers...well, he dragged his feet on those papers from January 2000 to April 2002. He continued to drag his feet until I stopped all work and contact between the lawyers in November 2001. Once I did that, I know he got his butt in gear and started the paperwork for a divorce and we were divorced in June 2002. So, yes, they will drag things out and you are the one waiting in limbo, wondering should you sell, should you file, etc. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your assets.
Your h may begin to spew when he discovers you aren't going to roll over, listen to what he has to say in the way of splitting the assets, etc. As long as you don't rock the boat, he may not spew. But if he does, just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and leave him to his spewing.
Again, I recommend that you not worry about him and only focus on what you need in the way of splitting the assets and a fair manner. If your state says you get XXX number of dollars, then go w/what your state advises. Trust me, if the shoe were on the other foot, he would go w/what the state advises and not negotiate w/you. Right now, he's only concerned w/himself. You have to leave your emotions/feelings at the door and look at this as a business deal gone sour.
Bottom line...take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
