Jeep, I'm pretty much doing all that finances will allow me to do at this point. I joined the gym this morning, same gym my h goes to but he wanted me to start going. last night we were intimate, of course initiated by me. I don't know if I am setting myself up for disappointment or not. He seems receptive with some things and others not so much. I know he needs time. One of his "issues" with me is that I don't enjoy movies and tv as much as he does. (to me this is such a silly thing....) I have literally spent the entire last 5 days watching tv and movies that I am not even the slightest bit interested in with him. It's like now I'm fearful of even doing anything I want to do for fear he's going to think "it will never work because we are too different." It is a horrible place to be in. He's not thinking straight. He's not of the mindset that two people can love and be happy together even though their interests aren't the same. He's so h$ll bent on this whole "compatibility" thing. I was sitting there, watching him watch tv while playing a game on his phone, his friend texting him, smiling, texting back, and I thought to myself..."i don't even know him anymore". I wanted to cry. I know we can be close again, and I know its half my fault, I'm hoping that this "head in clouds fairytale" thing hes got going on of the perfect relationship goes away soon. I understand that its part of his depression/confusion about our marriage at this point. We have a counseling session this friday together but I am afraid to even voice anything at this point for fear of jeopardizing the situation.
marriage to me is a commitment, to love the person when sometimes you don't want to be around them, a vow you made to stand by them in any situation, sickness, health, rich or poor....and he wants to throw me away because I'm not "meant for him anymore". it's a cop out...can you tell I've reached my anger stage? lol
