So Confused and Conflicted (5)

[WshIKnw]

However, OM's wife can't get my wife out of her head. Its not healthy. And it gives my wife and OM something to talk about, which strengthens their bond.

Good point, Kevin.

I don't talk about OM to my wife. In fact, I don't talk to her, because right now we are negotiating property distribution, and lately she has been really angry. I'll try to talk to her some more after the separation agreement is done. Maybe she will feel more free to discuss what in the actual f--- happened to us, since I will agree to her clause of never being able to sue her or a third party for cheating, if she comes back with what I want from her. I don't want to waste my time on a bunch of lies. She's just like Sandi says. I never knew that girl to lie to me the entire ten years we were together, but once she went cold (I assume cheated), she has been lying left and right, and acting like I'm Hitler.

The strangest thing happened Monday. I was heading to a fast food restaurant. While I was nearing the restaurant, I said to myself, "I wonder if I'll see them somewhere anytime soon". I get into the drive thru line, and lo and behold, a--hole is two cars ahead of me. This is a fairly large town we live in. And I don't think I wonder about the possibility of seeing them very often. So that was very, very strange. My wife was not with him, but he had at least one small child with him. This was also the first time I've seen him in a random place.

At church Sunday, the pastor was finally back from recovery. He remembered me. I used to join my wife there from time to time. He has a very impressive ability to remember names. He asked where W was. I told him that I didn't know. He asked me to call him.

Yesterday I called him. I told him what has been going on, and that I had very good evidence that my wife is seeing another man. He mentioned calling her or her mom. I told him that was fine, as long as he didn't make it seem like I asked him to, because I know that would make W mad. I gave him their numbers. If they ask me how he got their numbers, then I'll just tell the truth, that he asked for their numbers. My wife really likes him. So she shouldn't be mad if he calls.

He offered me a service that they provide with volunteers, where someone basically acts as a friend or support person. I told him I'd like to receive that service. He also told me he lives close by to me, and said he and I can have breakfast, lunch, and go on walks together. He's a very calm compassionate person. So that would​ be great. He also said a very long prayer that included basically everything, and I was moved to tears. I told him that it's amazing that he could come up with all of that on the fly so easily. I'm not a very religious person, but ever since BD, I've been trying to get help anywhere I can get it. He told me about a men's bible study that meets on Tuesday mornings. I may try that some time, mostly to get out and around people.

I have been trying to set up an appointment with the counselor, but still working on that.