First time here

[leahsue]

I need advice. Maybe I should be over on the MLC forum but there seems to be more activity here, and right now I still need the daily interaction found on this website. It has helped me in my everyday thoughts so many times, as I feel myself sliding toward negative self-talk.
I am not sure what stage I am in. I started here with a husband who wanted separation, which we did. He never said he wanted a divorce, in fact said he did not, but just needed some time. Then basically he just abandoned me for 2 months. About 3 weeks ago he started to communicate, first just a text here and there, then daily texts, then phone calls, now he wants us to visit for a weekend. So I don't really know what "rules" I need to be following during this phase. It was easy to go dark, that was clear-cut. But now, I don't know. When he first said he wants to see me, I was so excited and thought I'd love nothing more. But the more I think of it and the closer it gets, the more I think I may be reading too much into it. If you've read any of my posts, you'll see where last Sunday he made a statement about the future that did not include us back living together. He tried to back up and say that's not how he meant it- maybe he did, maybe he didn't~ believe nothing they say, right? But it had a strong affect on how I'm looking at this "get-together". I feel like I may be setting myself up for a disappointment, in that I think the weekend was going to be a magical fix, and he would want me to come home. Now I think that's not how it's going to be. I realize I am mind-reading, and crossing bridges ahead of time. My IC gets onto me about that every week. But I'm also trying to guard my heart. I don't want to set myself up for a 2nd heartbreak this quick. Should I just not see him? Eventually we have to see each other. We are 1000 miles apart so can't very well "date", which is what would make the most sense to me. I'm still not really verbalizing what I'm trying to say- usually I don't have this much trouble with words. Flu is still hanging around so maybe that's it. Any thoughts or opinions would be welcome.