I am into my third year now of suffering pretty significantly (getting better, though!), and I didn't even have to deal with an OM. I really feel for you guys and for all of the LBS here who've had to deal with infidelity.
Man if you only knew what lengths a cheater goes through.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
