I'm feeling okay today. I'm still shocked he expects me to take on debt to make his escape more financially advantageous for him.
He's so lost in this that he thinks that I should pay him back for the closing costs. That's not how this worked, nor does it work now.
We have no verbal nor written agreement about the house purchase, and we own it 50/50. He's got money down, I don't. At least I've got that going for me.
I'm thinking of calling my friend who was our realtor. She might be able to provide him a dose of reality. But probably not. He's in deep.
He's got two guy friends whom he confides in.
One is his friend he made during our first breakup: I'll call him M. M is in his late 40s and can't sustain a relationship. M dates women long distance, saying there are none in our area that he likes. It's really to make sure it can't work out, though. The one woman I've seen him have a relationship with was a raging narcissist. He had her move in with him, and that went wonderfully for a year (sarcasm, she'd insult him and punch him.)
M has no use for me. He'll say hello to me but he has never asked me a question about myself. I'd warned H that M wanted him single, as M is admittedly sad that all of his friends have settled down and there's no one to go out and chat up chicks with. H poo pooed me. I told him that I didn't want him going out with M to try to find chicks for M. Go out to hang out with M? Fine. Go watch a game? Fine.
H also confided in M every time we had an argument. I'd expressed concern over this to H, given that M doesn't know me (just the cartoon version of me from H's side) and H only talks about me when something is wrong. Given that M also wants him single, and M met H when H was trying to convince himself he'd made the right decision in breaking up with me, I'd been very wary of this friendship. H recently told me that M is surprisingly supportive and knows that "we have something special that he's likely to never find." Somehow I don't believe that.
The other, J, is a nice guy, but chased girls in their 20s who used him. Now he's dating an insecure woman in her 50s. He can only meet H for lunch, because otherwise his GF would have his head on a platter if she knew he was socializing without her permission. J is nicer to me and has asked me some questions. But I still don't think he sees through H's crapola.
So these two are the only ones H is talking to and neither of them are going to tell him he's acting crazy. I have been begging H to please make some guy friends who are in happy long term relationships, but he's told me he finds those type of men to be boring.
Also, aside from me, H also tends to date narcissist women for 1-3 months. Though they're not even attractive narcissists like M dates. I've seen a few, and boy are they not cute. I'm the only emotionally healthy woman he's ever dated, and he doesn't seem to understand that his crisis is coming up because he hit the point where he was vulnerable and dependent upon me.
Apparently that set off some sort of alarm in him and he's totally shut down.
