It takes two to make it work (pt. 6)

[SBJ]

I'm trying to put myself in the mindset of this being the next step in the process. It still feels kind of counter productive for wanting to save my M, but I guess as some have said, the old M is over anyway. I am staring at the pre-decree papers right now making notes on them that I might want to change and this still feels so surreal to me. It feels like I am the one in a fog. All I have to do is sign these papers and then a D decree would be written up for the judge to sign. It just doesn't seem real.

I have only spoken to two family members about this so far, but both my father and one of my brothers totally have my back on this. My father tells me that the hurt is so deep that it will take years for it to fade to a memory, but he says that it never goes away. My brother says that even though I am hurting I should realize that none of this is my fault and that I should try and heal with that at the forefront of my thoughts.

My kids will all be home with me this weekend and I totally need that quality time with them right now. God bless the love of your children...it is unconditional and is ever ending.

I truly thank everyone here for the care and support that everyone has given so freely. Everyone here are true angels of mercy.