What are YOUR current thoughts on this in your situation?

I hear uncertainty in your posts. That is understandable. I also hear a willingness to learn and a motivation to make the best decision for you. Well done on making the effort to seek out people who have already walked your path. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

Best wishes

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together