Newby here . . . (Thread 7)

[ForGump]

JR, it kinda sounds like you've detached from your STBX... which is good (given the circumstances).

Local paper -- ugh! Don't they have better things to do! I believe in people working as villages and communities but that seems to go a bit too far.

I don't know what kind of an arrangement/understanding you have w/ your STBX ... but in my case we live close by (~1 mi) and our schedules are flexible so we have been able to see our kids fairly often, although we are making an effort to help them get comfortable with the week-on-week-off schedule.

Week-on-week-off ... What can I say. I hate not seeing my kids, but given the divorce, this is the best I can do for them. I'm a bit frazzled when they're with me, but then when they're gone, the house is depressingly empty.

The only strategy I might share with you is that I tell myself this is when I need to bank my time for the kids. This is when I get stuff done, so that I can be more present when I have them. Every minute I spend working on household stuff and work is every minute more I get to be available to spend with them when they're here with me. That connection, that motivation, lifts my mood a bit.

I guess the other strategy I have is that I've picked some home improvement projects specifically for my kids (i.e., improve their rooms or improve something that they'd like). And working on that while they're gone makes me feel connected to them, and feel like I'm investing in the quality of the time they'll have when they are finally with me.

Also ... I have to admit ... I'd be a liar if I said the huge chunk of free time I have when the kids are gone isn't exhilarating at times. It's weird to have such a huge chunk of time to be completely free. So I do try to GAL and appreciate that freedom. I didn't do enough of that as a married person.

Give my best to your wife, hope the kids are well. (Kidding about the wife!)