New here and just read up on your situation. I'm also at the separation contract stage so it intrigued me. My H demanded an agreement on October 31. I'm a lawyer, he's a doctor. He is a notorious cheapskate and lazy as can be. I said he would have to file for divorce, but he did some sketchy money stuff and I decided the separation contract was in my best interest so told him I would work with an attorney to put something together. We had two or three tense in person meetings at our house. He tried to get out of coming here. Said he hated being here, hated looking at me, hated hearing my voice. Lawyer took off in Dec and agreement not done until early January.
I've had it sitting on my computer since then. He has not asked me for it and I have not given it to him. He was ignoring my kids entirely (they are older). Over the holidays he appears to have mostly broken up with OW, moved out of her house (he moved straight from our house in early Oct into hers).
Suddenly he is trying to come to the house to see the kids. At first he wouldn't come in the house, now he bounds up the stairs. The last time he took a nap on a sofa in the LR while he waited for one of the kids.
I never contact him. Make him contact me for anything he wants. Kids are older and have phones. He texts them. They don't respond. He doesn't see them. Then he texts me and I give him a time and he shows up. I try to be gone. He gets close for a few weeks, then runs away. Last weekend he posted a poem on FB about a father and husband longing to return home. I ignored it. He is sending emotional texts to the kids that are actually about them now, not just a group text to both that says nothing.
When he left he said he hated me and wanted as far from me as he could get. He said I was alienating him from the kids. He said he was happier than he has ever been. He and the OW didn't last even a couple of months despite an ongoing affair of 3 years before I kicked him out. He said horrible things.
I just keep ignoring him. I only respond to polite requests that pertain to the kids or the house. I never initiate anything, ever. When he asks for the Separation Contract I will give it to him no questions asked. I will not file for divorce for him.
These affairs do not last forever. They are cloaked in mystery and spontaneity and excitement when hidden. There is nothing real in them. The relationship doesn't become real until it is in the open and the LBS ignores it and gets on with life. When she isn't busy commiserating with him about how unreasonable you are or how you ticked her off, they will have nothing to bond over. She will see his laziness and his lack of involvement. It will put her off. Keep up your boxing and your reawakening.
I can see why often the LBS gives up waiting. I feel myself heading there even though he is making positive signs for the first time in a very long time. When you actually GAL and see them for who they really are (and it sounds like you are finally doing that), you realize they are not a great prize and happiness and living without tension and withholding start looking a lot more appealing.
