Wading through. I think I'm dealing with a MLC.

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I love it!! I am a firm believer that those little "coincidences" are just "God whispers".

Haha. Yes, it happened so quickly that I didn't have time to think about what I'd do. So the staring and the cocked head happened.

My bus arrived right behind him and so if he looked back he'd see that I got on it and know that it truly was a coincidence.

He always used to love little coincidences and saying or thinking things at the same time. Oh well. That time is over and I'll just assume that he doesn't care. Because he probably doesn't.

Again, I totally heard my story in your last post- about the ex. When my H's ex found out we were "working through some things, etc.", she totally came on to him at a family birthday dinner (again, too much wine for her and she notches up the crazy level)- said why don't you just come home with me? (He did not tell me this- his sister did. She said he pushed her away and of course a scene ensued with my H walking out leaving the dinner and crazy ex having a melt down, threatening to kill herself.

Wow. That's some next level stuff. Have you considered that she has some sort of personality disorder? I know that H's ex does. She's not quite right.

in the 13 years I've been married to him, she has never been a concern of mine.

Yes, his ex isn't one of mine in a romantic or sexual sense. She just wants to be in control of him and be the most important woman in his life. She got booted out of both of those things when he met me and she's been giving him hell since.

I know he feels shame over handing over the money from his retirement account. He said to me that he shouldn't have given it to her in the settlement and he was just trying to be a nice guy. But she has a job with a pension and he doesn't; he needs the money.

This was pre-DB, so I said "Well, I have about that much in my retirement account, so you really break via our life together."

And, as usual, when she finds a way to traumatize him, he mixed the two of us up. Suddenly I'm "controlling" and "relentless" and he "goes to far with women even when he's not happy." He feels that all the ugliness he is feeling is because he's unhappy with me and wishes we didn't buy our house.

I think she'd be way down his list of go-to's if we don't make it, but if that happens, by then I won't care anyway. RIGHT? I'll have moved my happy self on down my own road.

I think more that I supported him through the trials and tribulations of removing her claws from his life, and now some other woman will benefit without nearly the stress that we went through.

Times like this I wish we could know more about poster's location b/c I think you'd be one I could sit down with over a girl-talk happy hour!) Then again, the anonymity here is what makes it a safe place for all of us.

That's true. From reading your posts, I can tell you that I'm not in the south. I'm in the northeast.

I'm sorry that you're sick, and I'm sorry that you have so many fears happening. I understand that. When H and I broke up in 2014, the reconciliation process made me feel sick. Even though all the signs were positive, I was still frightened to open up to him again.

Everything looks positive that I read. The fact that he knew you were upset about his apartment plans and that he explained himself to you tells me that he's opening his heart to caring for your feelings again. Whether it will stick is the question. But keep doing what you've been doing because it seems to be working.

And I have to say that we do have similar stories, aside from the cheating. I don't think H would do that (he described having an opportunity when he was still married to his ex, and he couldn't go through with it and just enjoyed the attention), but if this is a MLC then all bets are off.