Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Meredith]

Now I need to go consider what considering really means.

Let me try to clarify…

What ‘considering’ really means….

This is based off of the movie, Mona Lisa Smile.

You do not have to love it.

You do not have to agree with it.

You simply have to consider it.

These are things that are up for review. Things that we have chucked aside as crap because of the way they initially made us feel. We may have felt abnormal, disrespected, neglected, shamed, etc and therefore decided that this was a bad thing without considering its potential, its message or its impact. Now, we are considering these things.

For instance…let’s pick up your first one. H's need to be alone much of the time.

Yep, that is crappy. Why? Because it makes you feel like you’re unwanted, disrespected, yadda yadda. But…what haven’t you considered about this statement? From his perspective? From your own? Have you given this a chance?

Have you noticed something? All of our lists contain similar things to consider, for the most part. For example, we all hate and resent our H’s needs to be alone. Why? Probably because of what we know it means when WE want to be alone…probably because we are excluded from their world when they retreat…probably because we haven’t fully considered what it means when they concentrate on their need to be alone rather than our need for quality time and attention. Now, we consider. Then, we decide…deal breaker or something for us to work on. If it doesn’t make the deal breaker list, we can’t add it to the “I’m divorcing you because ____” phrase. Make sense???