the bomb was dropped.....

[Gordie]

The hot and cold, don't touch me you have cooties and then let's hug and kiss...those mixed signals are signs of confusion. Stop trying to read his mind as he probably doesn't even know what he is thinking. You can't control him. You can only control you. This is really heard, but the answer I have learned here is to detach. You are going to be strong and stead...if he hugs and kisses you, great...if he doesn't want to be in the same room as you, great...

Learn to listen more and talk less...when he says he's willing to work on things...ask him in a friendly and inviting way, what do you mean by that? or describe to me what "work on things" means to you.

Pointing out all the negative aspects of your relationship? As I learned from Cali, grab a stool and imagine yourself drinking a STFU smoothie. Every time you have the desire to defend yourself or correct his interpretation of things, just take another gulp. Just listen. A time may come when you can respond, but not now, not when emotions are high.

Try and establish a sexual connection? I don't want to contradict your counselor and encourage you to go for it if that's still there and you both want it, but don't want you to be discouraged if it's not. Further, if your H is depressed or not feeling confident, he may not even be able to get it up. I'd work on emotional connection and being able to touch one another in a friendly, non sexual way.