Friends: Anchor, Bruce and Chum's BB Version

[Lyrael]

Alrighty then...time for my first homework assignment here at the "Big Three" thread.

I am still trying to work my brain around this idea of just "considering"- feeling without doing anything is one of my toughest problems that I am tackling right now. I see myself banging my head on the same brick wall time and again, and I don't like it. (Brick wall being my doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to have a magically different outcome this time.)

So here are my lists for consideration:

Things about H I promise to CONSIDER: (yes, I am shamelessly mooching Mer's formatting here)
1) H's need to be alone much of the time.
2) H's incredible fear of emotions in general/mine in
particular
3) H's seeming indecisiveness about our marriage.
4) H's past crappy BIG things - infidelity, etc...I want to consider the best way to put those things to rest in my heart and mind.
5) H's unwillingness to express whether he truly wants me in his life as anything more than a coparent. (kinda like three)
6) H's being late ALL THE TIME
7) H's inability to remember things he has agreed to do
8) H not being able to focus on any conversation we have (or anything else) for more than a few minutes.
9) H's way of expressing his emotions - which is not expressing them most of the time

Things about me I promise to CONSIDER:
1) My anger and in what situations I choose to express it
2) My need for a clearcut definition and answer as to what our M is or should be
3) My own confusion about whether I want to stay in this M or not.
4) My need to control/constantly influence the outcome of every interaction between H and I.
5) Just letting everything be for a mentally specified period of time...but asking for what I want - can we spend time together such-and-so, or can you take S to this and that...
6) Not expressing being angry about his answer to him
7) Letting go of H and seeing who he is without me controlling/nagging him all the time
8) Working on truly enjoying spending time alone

Things I have considered and CANNOT allow in my M (from either of us):
1) Emotional or physical affairs
2) Dishonesty

Now I need to go consider what considering really means.
Hmm.
Myrrh