One step forwards, quite a few steps back.

[Dawgs]

I think it's the unrelenting nature of it that I'm finding tiring.

I totally agree. But what other choice is there?

Anyway, I realised that whatever happened, there would always be a reminder of it, in the form of a child

In a way, yes. But at the same time, that isn't tied to you and therefore doesn't tie you two together. Sure, I understand that was the deal breaker and all, but it isn't the reason for any continued contact as it would be if you two had children. I get what you are saying. Just don't let that consume you.

So I think I realised that I wanted to close that door in December. I've not actually done anything about it though, I've just been sitting with that feeling to see if anything changed, and I changed my mind. But nope, I think I want to cut those ties.

That's not an easy decision to come to. And even for us LBS's, it takes time to reach that point. You seem to be ready. You're at the point I was when I originally filed. You got this!

So, if the first thing you've got to sort out in your life is your D, well blinkin' 'eck, that's a fairly hefty mountain to climb.

Yep. A tall and very steep mountain.

Anyway, I think I would like him to sort it, but knowing him (as I do), I don't think he will.

Well, keep working on yourself. Things always sort themselves out. For whatever reason.