Well I do think you should act differently. And I think you need to work towards being different.
Certainly giving a card is pursuing. Either way you need to make this decision about YOU. Not about him, not about your relationship.
I'm having trouble understanding what you're telling me. It feels very contradictory.
My first priority is myself. My second priority is doing what I can to prevent him from following through on self-destructing and taking my life down with him. And from what I've been reading, the best ways to accomplish my two priorities are: GAL, the 180, detaching, and stopping all signs of pursuing.
So if you're telling me to do what is best for me, but it also looks like pursuing, then it's not best for me.
I'm a kind person, and detaching and distancing are difficult for me to do. That's why I lean toward a surface acknowledgement. However, if that's not what is best to achieve my goals, then I don't want to do it.
