Maybe the important thing is to carry on doing things for yourself when you feel like this? Even if it's really small things. So the momentum is always forwards. Small things might be very, very small things indeed
Small things clear the way for the bigger things!
Yes. Doing them gives you confidence, little by little.
And doing lots of small things, day after day, amount to a whole load of things after even a short time
I think it's the unrelenting nature of it that I'm finding tiring.
Also, the realisation of it probably having to be myself that sorts things out.
OW conceiving was/is, I think, the deal breaker for me. I found out some time in December (from FB, believe it or not).
Anyway, I realised that whatever happened, there would always be a reminder of it, in the form of a child. A totally innocent child who deserves the very best in life.
Too much for me to handle, however things are playing/played out.
So I think I realised that I wanted to close that door in December. I've not actually done anything about it though, I've just been sitting with that feeling to see if anything changed, and I changed my mind. But nope, I think I want to cut those ties.
It's just that I'd always been the one to deal with the practicalities in our M: running the house, bill paying, heck...even letting him know he had emails to answer and typing out the answers he dictated (he was/is self employed, so it's job offers, invoices he was doing by email).
I know, I know, almost comical.
So, if the first thing you've got to sort out in your life is your D, well blinkin' 'eck, that's a fairly hefty mountain to climb.
I mean, the process itself is straightforward enough (we have no children, no joint assets, shared bank accounts etc). But the emotional burden of that, well, even I'm struggling at the thought of it, and I'm Miss Practicality. Goodness knows how he's feeling about it.
Anyway, I think I would like him to sort it, but knowing him (as I do), I don't think he will.
