Quote: My H DOES remind me of your H in that he seems content to stay put... he actually emailed me wondering if "something had happened" that made the kids not want to answer his calls. Shall I answer, "what, other than you dumping us and moving out? Other than putting some OW above them? Other than looking for YOUR happiness? Other than that, you mean?" But, I won't...
Holy crap! I spit water all over my computer screen! I haven't received an e-mail with those words, but after I returned home from visiting Meredith and Pam in February, he asked me: "Why does D10 always seem to be so mad when I come get her on Fridays?"
My desired response would have been awfully similar to yours. I will keep on swimming, but pretty soon, we're all going to be ready to find another reef and seek out a new level of happiness and gratitude.
Yes, D10 is VERY ready to punch the off button. She wants me to find a man (who is kind AND attractive) who can love me as much as I want to love him. I believe those were awfully close to her exact words.
Count me in: I'm more than ready. I have to remind D10 to keep her hands in her lap on this ride and not to do or say anything until I tell her (after all, I'm still the mom and the boss of her).
As long as we're on this subject (to all who care), I finally mustered the guts to call some friends of ours last night. I met them when we lived in CA and they were friends of Mr. W--they have lived in CO for quite some time, and we used to spend a lot of time with them.
They have been leaving me voicemails, asking me how I am, and asking me to come down and visit soon. Their son is 15 and calls me Aunt Betsey... anyway, I spoke with both of them last night, ending with the H (who I will call Stanley).
Stanley told me in no uncertain terms: Bets, it's time to do something. You've been playing by his rules for over a year and a half and he's not going anywhere. In fact, he's not even committed to thinking about you and your future, let alone committed to you and the girls. W and I will always love both of you and be friends with both of you, but I gladly tell you that we support YOU and your commitment to your M. If we are forced to make a choice, we will choose you.
The peanut gallery is now coming out to me in full force. I'm not surprised at their positions either.
Enough said. Back to the grind and more thinking. UGH!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
