Thanks all. I read the pursuer and distancer thread. He's definitely a distancer, and I'm a mild pursuer. I regret trying to talk to him in the month of his fugue state, but at least I stopped.
He asked if we could talk about finances tonight. I agreed.
I plan on making sure my posture is on point and that I seem happy. I think I'm going to agree with everything out of his mouth (even if it's negativity about our relationship.)
The only item I won't agree to is paying more than half while I am still in the house.
I'm going to look at a few more apartments today. Hopefully I'll find something. I worry that extended exposure to me is hurting my chances of him eventually coming out of this.
Though I don't have a lot of free time (working full time and writing my dissertation) or money (though hopefully finding an affordable apartment will help that) my GAL plan is:
- Working on my rejection/abandonment fears. This isn't about me and my worth. This is the healthiest I've ever felt about a breakup. Normally they send me reeling. Whenever I feel myself sinking, I pull myself out of it.
- Working on my anxiety about loneliness. Same thing as above.
- I don't think I'm going to date for a while. I've got to work on myself so I can make healthier choices in who I attract.
- Work on my procrastination tendencies and pour myself into finishing my degree.
- Pick up weight lifting, spinning, or both.
- Stick to my low carb diet. I've got a few extra pounds I want to lose.
- Work on being friendlier with people I pass by. I have always avoided eye contact, and I'm going to challenge myself to look people in the eye and smile.
