I've done very well with detaching and not pursuing. Not texting her, not responding to any texts from her if I don't have to, being short and ambivalent when I do respond, not taking any bait by her to get me to pursue.
I've done OK with being indifferent the times she's been by the house recently. But I need to be better. It's so easy to get sucked in and suddenly find myself talking about how I feel. I think I'll be better the next time. I really just need to keep the "friendly coworker" idea in my head the whole time, pause before I speak, and not let her pull me into any relationship conversation or at the very least just give short, indifferent responses to what she says and not get emotional. It's getting easier because the conversations we have had, she still bashes me, still rewrites history, and still refutes any opinions or feelings I discuss as if they're facts she has disproven. Not hard to remove motivation to have those types of conversations.
If I was polite and completely indifferent to her, which is my goal, she'd probably think I moved on and am in a better place. Maybe that I'm more mysterious. That she doesn't matter as much and I've got other things going on in my life that she isn't part of. And also maybe guilty about how she's treated me.
