You are getting some of the best support that is available anywhere.
So this is my view.
Changing externals doesn't change the internals. And you can choose shift. Something which is permanent so that you are in the best place. The posters are investing in you, so invest in yourself.
There are several of the very best posters suggesting very strongly that you own your issues AND resolve them. Two wrongs won't create a right.
25 has asked some very direct questions, the answers to which will enable us to understand more of your back story. If you want more directed support then answer those as best you can. This will allow feedback and more support. It's a virtuous cycle. 25 is a big hearted poster with room to understand and I have observed her support some LBS in tough spots before.
Being emotional is perfectly authentic to you and it's fine. In fact for me, any poster twisting in the wind is worthy of extra validation and the extra mile.
Affairs are always a bad choice, awful and the worst ever. Nothing you have done, nothing makes you responsible for your wayward wife and her crudy scum bucket OM. This isn't a competition as to who is worse you or WW. Nor can anything you can do in the past be changed or undone or unsaid.
I want you to experience real spell break and shift. Help yourself to become open and make those shifts.
It is the tougher way.
So are you ready to answer those questions?
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
