MLC? Maybe you can tell me...

[Bird]

Thank you, peacetoday and SBJ. Those are words that I will refer back to again and again in my struggle to find and keep my faith.

Sometimes, when I can't fall asleep (which is really always) I try to start a story in my head. I've been trying to start a story where H comes over unannounced or texts me for coffee, where he says something along the lines of, "I don't want this. Moving out wasn't the answer I was looking for" and then we talk about things he needs to work through to get to a better place in his head. But everytime I try to run through this story in my head, I always fall asleep before we actually meet to talk. I don't know why. I can run through a thousand stories and still not fall asleep, but in this scenario my brain shuts off before we even speak. Curious.

So, my attorney wrote me back and asked if I went through my concerns with H (my concerns with his concerns, as it were). She seems to think that he and I should discuss this stuff and if we can't come to an agreement then we should meet with both attorneys before taking it to court. So I'm working on a follow up to his email that addresses my concerns (moving away from a strict 50/50, increasing what he thinks he should pay for support) and yet somehow not alienate him into thinking he can't wait to get farther away from me. I want to make sure the kids and I are financially secure but I'm still trying to make coming home an attractive option for him. He has shown no sign of confusion or regret to me about his actions. I haven't slept next to him since November 3rd. Last week was the most open he's been since then, but neither of us mention the M at all. Relationship talks ceased the day he told me he wanted out.

Also Gordie -thanks for your ideas regarding my response to MIL a couple of weeks ago. She's sent two more emails to me so I felt like I needed to respond and your sample email really helped me to put into words where our relationship needs to be for the time being.