First time here

[leahsue]

Wow, Jeep, you nailed it before it even happened. He's on his own road. He called yesterday after I posted my last post, and we were having a pleasant enough conversation just casual. Then he started telling me he had re-arranged all the stuff in the kitchen, moving things around. That kind of made me think-wow, it's really not ever going to be "home" for me again, but I didn't say anything. THEN, he says, this lease is up in October anyway. (Which I knew, and I had hoped we would look for a house further from the touristy, SO expensive area near the Hudson, but not mentioned it to him) Then he says- I think I'll just get a one bedroom apt down in ---- City near work. I felt like someone had kicked me in the teeth. I said, I am going to need to get off the phone now. I know he could hear in my voice that I was about to cry. He just said OK and I hung up. Two seconds later he texted I'm sorry. I probably way over-reacted privately, but luckily not while on the phone. What I heard him say was- I have my life all planned out for the next year or so and there is no room for you. He texted about an hour later and said- I know what I said came out wrong and that's not how I meant it to sound. I think we have been having very good conversations and moving forward. What I meant by a single bedroom is that's all we would need for now if we make it back to us. I didn't respond. He called and said the same thing. Who knows what he really meant, and I can't worry about it. But I'm not gonna lie. It took away most of the progress, at least for me, that I've felt we were making. On top of it all, I went to dr today and tested positive for flu, so no wonder I've felt like crap. Oh well, pushing forward on my road built for just me.