should give up this friendship all while my WW is continuing to talk to and see the OM. All in an attempt to show her that I am willing to do what is necessary.....in the hopes that she will give up OM....????
No. Not at all. You are correct. They aren't in the same realm. And while you could have shown support for your wife when they were arguing, unless he was degrading her in some way then it would make her look weak if you had to constantly step in. She's an adult and doesn't need her hand held.
But for her to say give up your friendship and she will give up the affair is just wrong...That tells me that she has no interest in saving the marriage. Sorry, but that's the way it is.
This I completely agree with. Had he ever even done so much as call her a name or talk down to her I most certainly would have stepped in. There was only once in the 13 years that he said ANYTHING that I felt was derogatory...he told her she was acting like a B#$ch...I did step in on this one...
At the same time, you know something that is quite comical...if someone ever did that to my WW in front of him, he would absolutely lose his $hit...It really is and always has been like a brother/sister relationship with them.
