should give up this friendship all while my WW is continuing to talk to and see the OM. All in an attempt to show her that I am willing to do what is necessary.....in the hopes that she will give up OM....????
No. Not at all. You are correct. They aren't in the same realm. And while you could have shown support for your wife when they were arguing, unless he was degrading her in some way then it would make her look weak if you had to constantly step in. She's an adult and doesn't need her hand held.
But for her to say give up your friendship and she will give up the affair is just wrong...That tells me that she has no interest in saving the marriage. Sorry, but that's the way it is.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
