Yes you should be GALing. Go out and meet some new people. Go out and take up some new hobby(s). For social media, I'd say it doesn't matter so much. Post or don't. What mattters is that you're doing it.
Hi J- just checking in on you today. In your post above you said something that jumped off the screen at me- "she doesn't deserve me" and "I'll show her." What are the common pronouns in those 2 sentences? SHE and HER. You're making it all about her. I want to begin to see your posts saying more about YOU. Remember, stop looking over your shoulder to see if she's watching. Chances are, she's not. And maybe someday she will- but I'm pretty sure it won't be at least until you're not checking to see if she is. You've got to detach in your head. Your heart will eventually follow. Hang in there!! You got this.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Hi leahsue, thanks for checking up on me - I find a lot of comfort that. This has been a bad day for me so far. I just can't get over how hard hearted my W must be to not even care if I am alive or dead. How does love just die like that? Even on a compassionate basis. Makes me wonder if she ever loved me at all. The thought that I'm not in her thoughts or that she isn't missing me right now causes a pain in me that I can't really describe in words.
I know I have to detach in my head. But whether or not I can detach my heart only time will tell. For the moment I am just taking each day as it comes - good or bad. I know I should have no expectations that GD will work and she may reach out in time. But, somewhere deep inside I can't seem to extinguish that faint glimmer of hope that we still have a fighting chance. I know that may across as deluded to everyone here - it certainly does to others in my life. But, it's just the truth.
Me:35 W:35 M:5 T:7 NO KIDS S: 3rd Nov 2016 to 4th Feb 2017 BD: 7th Mar 2017 GD: 6 weeks
It's OK to always keep the faint glimmer of hope alive. I think we all do that. You have to keep that between you, this board, and the good Lord. :)(for now.) My H was the same way. One day he was loving, attentive, seemed to adore me, and like overnight he changed. The hardest thing I think I've learned from this nightmare is that love- the feeling- is fleeting; it comes and goes like happiness. But love-the decision - is more like joy. It's constant but sometimes you can't see it or feel it. You just have to keep on keepin on until the sun breaks through. And it will, for you, too, my friend. (In one of my most shameful, opposite of DB reactions, I remember screaming to him- was all this (my hand sweeping boxes of love notes, cards, photos, etc.) just a lie??? Of course he had no answer, but it was spoken out of absolute wide open pain, raw and unattractive.) And that pain of her not missing you that you can't describe? You don't have to- you have comrades beside you on this road who know it all too well. I'm really struggling today myself. I don't feel good physically-I think allergies- but I'm just so tired of thinking about the whole lot. I'm doing All. Of. The. Things. that we are supposed to do, but I just feel really shaky. It's good to come here on both kinds of days, b/c there is usually someone hanging out here who needs to feel needed too, and encouragement can usually be found. I think I'll go over to my thread and ask for some encouragement myself. Meanwhile, you keep taking one day at a time. You're already a better man for having felt this kind of pain and standing up to stare it right back in the face.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Your words have really helped me today. Thank you. Really. I hope I can be a shoulder and offer you the same encouragement when I'm stronger. I will pray for me. And for you today.
Me:35 W:35 M:5 T:7 NO KIDS S: 3rd Nov 2016 to 4th Feb 2017 BD: 7th Mar 2017 GD: 6 weeks
That's what I can't get over. How is it that everything is my fault? Why do people that I know too are so quick to side with her? They have seen us together - I'm a good person and have been a good husband in a lot of ways! Now, I don't know if they know how my W has actually left. I'm not sure if I should reach out to a few and test if they know she abandoned me the way she did.
In terms of GAL - should I let it be seen on social media? I feel so dead inside that I don't even know if I can fake it.
Every thing is our fault. That's how they justify things...to make their own selves feel better.
Now, why would you want to reach out and test to see if anyone knows? None of their business, your personal live is. What is your goal - to have them put in some word or something? Not a good idea on any part...at best, it would make you look bad.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
