Moored

[roist]

I WOW hawho, what a week, though at this stage they probably all seem similar... .. unfortunately for you. Your post brought a few thoughts to mind:

You have been sick and surely tireder than usual. I find that when I am tired I am less positive, less optimistic and definitely less tolerant. That could have been a part of your shifting emotional outlook. Regardless of the cause I think such shifts are important to move forward. The question is what are you going to DO with your Newfound clearness. I remember asking the same a while back about your Scarlet O'Hara mentality. I think such moments are prompts from your subconscious that you are ready to change something. It can be difficult to figure out what, but it can be a great opportunity to expand.

Sometimes a change can just be in our way of thinking or our viewpoint on something. But ideally that change in our mentality does lead to change in our attitudes which drives our actions.

There were times during my situation that "doing nothing" was the hardest thing to DO. Doing nothing however does not mean you do nothing. IMO it refers to doing nothing directly or indirectly specifically to change something about the R/ the WAS and/or AP. However it does not exclude other actions in all the other areas of DBing and in life.

That being said, in your situation, it must take tremendous effort and energy just to withstand his shitte and not be an emotional wreck. Sometimes I feel we are in a wild river and it is an achievement just to stay in place and not get swept in emotional turmoil. You have withstood a lot for so long and keep getting hit daily by more waves. Like many others here, I can only congratulate you on being able to do that.

O
Where did you do your reading on mlc stages? I ask for me. IMO it is MLC, but the label changes nothing. Remember your H wasn't always like this so chances are he will not always be like this either. Actually I believe it is inevitable that eventually he will change (for the better). I can understand you feeling numb towards H and also your frustration due to how long this has been going on. You could look at the positive in that you are three years closer to the end, than when you started. In other words you have never been so close to it ending. You cannot argue with, that logic and each passing day brings you closer to the end of this crisis.

Our attitude, behavior and actions can influence the outcome and the pace leading up to that. I would like job to be more specific on how you rattle his cage to help him progress quicker. Until job provides her insight, I would comment that there is a long timeframe still ahead. It is up to us how we live that phase. Work towards living it as fully as possible.

This could be just me, but I find it unacceptable that your H would eat a bowl of ice cream whilst you and you kids eat a proper meal. Stamp that out. It is a lowsy example for your children. How can we expect them to eat/behave properly if their dad doesn't. Again this is just my opinion. He is free to eat whatever he wants in his room (again not ideal role model but better than at table).

Can I get a copy of his diet plan that replaces a meal with ice cream !?!? Haha. Or did he catch you poisoning him again. Haha.