The divorce was filed about 2 months ago, with one month left.
My wife and I are still separtated, but she has left the other man, and blocked all contact with him. She now states that she is willing to try to work on our marriage to see if there is anything left and if her feelings come back. She has told me she does not love me, which is not a suprise as she told me for some time now. But she wants to see if there are any feelings left(the spark is gone in her words). I told her that she must decide if she wants to be with me, and if she does want to make it work, that those feelings can eventually come back naturally.
We are going to see how the next month goes, and if things seem to be going okay, we will cancel the divorce proceedings. She and I both understand that the love will not come back in one month, and our problems will not be solved in that time either.
We have been spending time together, and I have even stayed at her new apartment overnight twice. Nothing sexual has happened, and we have not kissed. I don't want to pressure her into anything so I have not tried, and have told her I would like her to make the first move for kissing etc so there is less stress and pressure on the relationship.
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how we should proceed. I've mentioned counseling but she is starting her own counseling this week and says she wants to wait until she has a few sessions of solo counseling before we talk about marraige counseling. She admits that she has some mental issues that she wants to go back on medication if she is diagnosed with a mental disorder(previously on ssri). And she wants counseling to help her out, as she doesnt know what she wants out of life and is depressed.
Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle this situation? We had an emotional talk tonight, and her fear is that if the feelings don't come back, it will be hard for me to accept that and it will be the inital split all over again, which was very hard for both of us due to me not wanting the divorce or split.
If anyone has any questions for me, I'll do my best to clarify my situation. She seems to be genuine that she wants to be absolutely sure our problems can't be worked out. The reason she stopped loving me was I was too focused on work/other things in life and I negleted her and didn't show her enough attention. I admit that I was wrong, and I'll do anything to win back her trust and affection, and she knows that it is very hard for me to trust her after the affair.
I asked her if she would want to be with me if our marriage was better and we were both happy and she said yes, she would want that. She mainly wants to be happy, even with the other man she wasn't happy in her life, I believe because of depression. But she admitted she was with him because it was simple and no stress, she didn't see their relationship going anywhere, it was just to have someone take her out and keep her company. As hard as it is to accept, I can forgive her for that, but trust will take some time.
I really just need advice as this is my only chance to save my marriage, and I cannot mess this up. Please help me however you can.
