Thank you so much for you advice and kind words. I really appreciate the time and consideration you have given me.
I haven't sought medical help but accept that I have been low at times and may be depressed now but am very wary of my medical records mentioning anything like depression.
I work now after many years but have no benefits and it's poorly paid making it difficult to help support the family. One of my wife's issues and who can blame her. My inability to support her has I believe caused her to become depressed.
My wonderful wife has until recently always been a caring and loving person and I believe depression has changed her at least toward me. About two years ago she said she was unhappy and wanted me to go to counseling with her. I refused for personal reasons believing we were strong together but I didn't understand how unhappy she must have been. Now she refuses to go with me.
I have no intention of leaving the family home although I have been sleeping on the couch for a month or two. My w initially slept on the couch but she sleeps earlier than me and wants it quiet from about 9 pm. I suggested she sleep in the mbr so that she could get the rest she needed without the living room lights going out for the family. My w has since then made it her bedsit and spends most of her time there to avoid me. I wonder now if she deliberately became difficult so that I would do this. I think you and Sandi2 are correct about it being a mistake to leave the mbr and I intend to start sleeping there shortly. My w definitely thinks she is running things because she can threaten divorce and separation etc. However I feel I need to start taking charge of these things which I think wife expects of a man. I would appreciate Your advice on this matter.
I haven't written yet to my wife though the temptation is very strong for the reasons I mentioned previously and I thank you again for your advice.
Although my younger d slept over my wife didn't go out in the evening and I hope that the relationship with the o m is still off. However my w is still very disrespectful to me and I feel I need to deal with her behavior. Presently I don't initiate talk with her but I worry if I am coming over too surly your advice is much appreciated.
It's getting very late and I will write further when I can.
