She said she has been unhapy for a long time. Not much ch I can do about that. I cant change the past. And I cant make her stay.
True. It's a hard important lesson.
Have you explored why she was unhappy? (IF and when you do, don't argue with her perceptions. They are hers. Just make sure you understand them.)
Of all the reasons she lists, some will be real only to her and some will be painfully valid even in your eyes.
That's^^ where you start your own work. Meaning, let's say she was really hurt that you never wanted to spend Thanksgiving in the mountains.
Because you prefer the ocean and b/c you didn't know it meant so much to her OR b/c you were selfish, etc.
So, start camping out in the mountains with the kids. Learn to enjoy camping and let it show.
If she said you were "always late", you become Mr. Punctual. You are NOT late again. In fact, you now Arrive early.
Counter the negatives she felt, and do not fuel them with more of the same.
Undermine the "bad data" she has, so that she realizes either it was not accurate then AND OR you have changed. Her data about you is no longer valid. In other words,
yes you can change.
Who knows? Maybe you will become the man she always wanted you to become.
Then the choice for a divorce and all the costs of it and all the pain,
may not have the same appeal it has when you are fueling her negative images.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
