Hi Focus, Good to hear from you.I've also stepped from the forums (didn't want to keep repeating myself)and tried to get on with life.I agree that it is always going to be with us but the important thing is how we deal with it. My ex-W sometimes pops and it does unsettle me but only as much as I let it.We can only hurt ourselves, they aren't there to see the effect things have on us. It sounds like you have made so much progress in many ways, it is good that your H keeps out of the way for long periods (what can he say that will help you? Nothing), it will allow you to heal and grow even more. Keep on your path, accept that there will be rocky moments (memories,emotions, events etc) but know that you are stronger than ever.
Hey Scrant! Good to hear from you. I went to see if you'd posted any updates, but couldn't find any. Hope you're doing as well as can be expected - or maybe even doing good?!
I had a bit of a low point the other day. I've been sorting out the cupboard that's in my flat and tidying things up/giving things away. I decided to put all the things relating to our life together on a top shelf in the cupboard (photographs, little gifts, cards...you know, that sort of stuff). It all fitted into three shoe boxes.
It had me in tears again. Is that the sum total of almost 20 years together? Three shoe boxes?
Funnily enough, I remember having the same feeling (but less intense) when I took my grandmother's jewellery to be valued for her estate after she'd died about 10 years ago. There was nothing valuable there, just trinkets really...she wasn't that much interested in jewellery. But I remember having the same thought as it was all set out for the valuer: is that the sum total of a whole life? A couple of necklaces and a handful of brooches?
I'd like to write a bit more this morning, but I've noticed that I start to feel really drained really quickly when I think about it all. So I'm setting myself boundaries when I think about it or talk about it so that I can keep some of my energy for doing positive and constructive things for myself.
Let me know what you're up to and what stage things are at with your life
