Chapter 4 - Acting As If

[bigybiz]

Vanilla:

Thanks for your note. I'll look for RD500's thread.

I'm not familar with the picnic strategy. I do love the lighthouse.

FYI - Weekly meetings never happened. She suggested them, we had one. At week two I asked about it - no response. That was 8 months ago. Now I just make all the decisions. I leave paperwork for her in a binder in the kitchen. I don't schedule things for the boys on her time. We don't co-parent and we don't parallel parent. We coexist.

For the record- she does not come and go as she pleases. She only come to the house on her parenting days. That's the boundary. It's still her house and it's where her sons live 100% of the time. I don't interfere. S11 spend Saturday's with her most of the time at her apt. He sleeps here.

Most of the time when she is here, I'm out taking in some GAL or in the basement working on our renovation. There is almost 0 small talk. If a meal is being served about 50% of the time I join them.

When she is here she pitches in. I don't expect it and/or encourage it. I simply say thank you. I know that as soon as I start counting/relying on her - that's when a problem will begin.

I'm keen to see what happens between the boys and mom as time marches on.

I've watched the LRT video's at least three times and I think I'm following the advice MWD gives and have embraced the LRT. As my DB coach said to me months ago - This is a process not an event.