Wife with Neighbor Across the Street

[Coconut]

wow, I'm amazed at what I read when I just went through your thread.

I'm curious, have you read DR or DB? Have you read the links that cadet gave you the first day? You haven't mentioned one thing your doing that follows along DB principles. I can't tell if you are telling us some of the stuff you've done (like manned up at dinner and told her that you weren't interested in dating her, then gave her your balls and asked if you can have a redo) because you know you fell off the path you should have stayed on, or because you have no idea how bad those actions make you look to her.

Let me ask you something, and be honest. Are you ok with being in a Marriage Relationship with her while she is dating another man?

If not, then why do you keep trying to be her husband when she is with another man? Don't take her shopping and hold her hand, unless you're ok with keeping the relationship where it is.

Many of us, such as myself, do those types of things not knowing that the A is ongoing, but you can't begin to work on a MR while she is still communicating with OM.

You want to know why she keeps going back and forth? Because she wants everything, the safety of her M that she's known since her teens, and to play the field like a teenager... If your not okay with an open M, then don't let her go back and forth, she gets to make a choice, she can decide to stay with OM if she wants to (nothing can be done about that), or she can choose to go NC. If she chooses to continue with OM, then step away as her H, unless your ok with your W dating.

as for the D, I think your trying to use it as a weapon. I'm not sure why your in such a hurry to D. Is there a need to do it to protect yourself? Or do you just feel like it's going to make everything perfect for you if your not M to her? It's NOT going to end your pain and suffering, you need time and to focus on your own happiness for that to happen, it will happen the same whether your M or not. Divorce is a piece of paper, not a magic pill.

I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but if you really want help in DB'ing, let us know, tell us what your doing and ask us for our opinions on what you could/should be doing... We will help!

But if you just want to bounce all over the place, and immediately act upon your instincts and tell us about it, then that's your perogative and it does make for an interesting read.