So sorry for your pain and sadly I can relate. I am new here but have a headstart on learning of his horrible deeds. Also married 25 years. I felt much as you did, went through the same kinds of things. It will get better. You will feel better. My H was a week in and a week out as well for almost a year. I learned in that time that I could only breathe when he was gone. I yearned for him to come back and sometimes he would be decent, but the rollercoaster ride was too much for me and the kids.
He's been out of the house since October and as much as it hurt when he left, I can now breathe again. My kids are struggling but showing signs of improvement.
You will get through this. One hour, one day at a time. You may not be able to do everything now, but do one thing, just one thing every day to help you find the path and your way out.
