I think you're processing it - numb can sometimes be a way our bodies/minds give us a break while we internalize a deep shift. It's ok, I promise you. You're doing all the right things. I know what you mean. I never in a million years thought I'd be here. But here isn't so bad, actually. There's a lot to recommend it, especially if you're of the opinion that it's better to be alone than with someone who doesn't really want to be committed to you. It doesn't negate the sadness or betrayal or disappointment, but it does let you know that it could be worse. Speaking of worse - we could be the MLCer. Wouldn't want to be in their shoes AT ALL.

so hang in and keep doing what you're doing. Hey I had a thought: why not call your few friends and organize something yourself - poker night or something?

Just a thought.

xoxoxoxo {{{{Kyh}}}}}

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver