Lost all hope

[leahsue]

Dear pg1966,
I hurt for you so much. I've been where you are! Everyone thought we were the perfect couple, and his wanting out just blindsided me. The first few weeks I did all the things that DO NOT WORK. I cried, begged him to reconsider, screamed, crawled up in bed and didn't want to get up. Girl, this did NOTHING to bring him back. It pushed him way further away. Everyone on these boards said- do a 180, go dark (well that was no problem b/c I was about as dark as a tomb!), and like you, it just seemed like too much. I didn't WANT to GAL, go out, exercise, leave the house, even get out of my pajamas. But slowly, one minute at a time, I began to realize that what I was doing was NOT WORKING, and regardless of what happened with him, I could only control me. So I began to follow the rules and go opposite of what I would do naturally. The hardest thing was not contacting him AT ALL and not constantly thinking about him, where he was, what he was thinking, what would this look like in a year, 10 years, would anyone ever hold me again.... anxiety-driven thoughts=no peace inside. LET HIM GO. Pull yourself up and LET GO AGAIN. The thing that jumped out at me in your post was- "he still lets me hold his hand and hug him." THINK ABOUT THAT. Is that how you want a relationship dynamic to be? I know it feels impossible and dark right now, but post on here often, read other people's posts and comment, try to follow Sandi's 37 rules, and I promise you will start to feel better. I'll leave you with a hug and a quote from "The Help"- YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT.