Yes, you should have stopped it. If you somehow don't see that she wanted you to stop, then maybe your IC can help you spot emotions and beliefs in others better.
Wsh, you said you might fall in the autism spectrum somewhere. I have a brother with Aspergers, and I'm familiar with the challenges he faces. He tends not to pick up on social cues if they are emotion based.
He is married and they have a child. I know it's harder for him to know how she feels so his w makes an extra effort to verbalize her exact feelings. But he admits that he has Asperger's and he does make an effort to address it. (I hate to admit this, but I suspect that she'd have left him, otherwise. )
I learned early on, the first year my wife and I were dating, that I had to ask her periodically how happy she was, because otherwise I would be clueless. I learned this after I was completely shocked when she all of a sudden pulled back from me, contemplating breaking up with me. Is it because I might have some autism or because her mantra was "fake it until you make it" (that is, she would hide her feelings)? I don't know. But as I got very comfortable in the marriage, I forgot the importance of me asking her how happy she is, and that made me miss out on opportunities to improve how she felt, because if I thought she was happy, I wasn't very motivated to make her happier, even if she was complaining about things from time to time. I know I screwed up, 25. Why are you harping on what I did wrong? No one else seems to see that as something that needs to be discussed, on this forum, or in my life. Everyone has been telling me to stop blaming myself.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
