Let's remember what my wife has done, which would seem to me to be waaaay worse than anything I've done.
How is 'keeping score' helping you?
She is going to do what she's going to do. I continue to recommend you keep your focus squarely on what YOU are doing. What if instead of one OM, it were seven. Does that make iwhat she's doing now even worse? Maybe. Does it change the work you have in front of you? Not really.
So lose the score pad and figure out what YOU need to do.
I only mentioned that because 25 keeps bringing up what I did in the marriage that was wrong. I have spent so much time on that. I've spent so much time blaming myself when everyone is so flabbergasted that I could take my wife back after what she's done. Like, "Why are you blaming yourself so much? She has committed the ultimate sin. You were just being a typical man that hadn't yet learned how to be a good husband. You were behaving the way that came natural to you. You were treating her the way you wanted to be treated, rather than how she needed to be treated, because you didn't know better." When what I did wrong in the marriage becomes the subject for discussion, I feel like I'm going backwards. I'm trying to detach now, and GAL. Don't worry. I will definitely continue learning the woman, because I will never, ever want to repeat this again, with any woman. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world, because of the mistakes I made in the marriage. I don't need help with that. And anyone that has been with me from the start, through this, knows that.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
