I'm supposed to sign papers tomorrow so I figured this would be an appropriate title. Time to quit trying to push this boulder up the mountain and dig deeper to work on myself.
I thought I'd treat myself to a massage tonight (something old me would've never done for myself) as I've been stressing over this, but when I was booking it I decided to do my first Reiki session instead. Wow, it was a lot more than I expected, I wish I had been better prepared. I feel more relaxed than I've felt in a really long time. It's nice not to be spinning about tomorrow.
Thank you for starting a new thread and linking them together.
I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today. It's never easy to end something, especially a marriage, but at the end of the day, you've tried everything to keep your marriage together. They always say that the divorce decree is nothing more than a piece of paper and reconciliation is always possible. Time will tell if you and your wife get back together (I hope you do, if you still love her.)
I'm also glad you booked your first Reiki session. You need an outlet to release the stress and this is a good way to do so.
Please take care of yourself and your beautiful children.
Thinking of you today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You will definitely be in our thoughts and prayers today and tomorrow.
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Talk to me! I'm starting my Masters level reiki training next month. Really glad you booked that session. It's a great way to balance and settle your Shen / emotions.
I am sorry it's come to this but I feel as though you are coming to this from a place of strength.
Also you can ask a massage therapist to use CBD on problem areas at your next massage, if you're in one of the states when that is legal. Maybe add some high quality essential oils - sweet birch, spearmint, lavender, frankincense
Keeping you in my thoughts today. Focusing on yourself is the. Best thing you can do in this situation. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
Last edited by job; 03/16/1705:12 AM. Reason: edited a word for poster
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Thank you all for the support. It really means a lot to me.
Job, I think I will always love her but I don't love this new stranger. I hope the beautiful woman I know is still in there somewhere but realize I can't count on it.
Buttrfly, congrats on starting your training. It was an eye opening experience for me. There was a lot going on, lots of visuals I wasn't expecting. I'm excited for my next appointment.
Today was actually alright, I did better than I thought. I almost got emotional about 2 hours before but let it go as soon as it started. I felt kind of numb to it all when I went to sign. I felt nothing really, no relief, no dread, no sadness, no happiness...nothing. Hopefully nothing comes later.
I recognize that numb feeling during signing. How are you today?
For me, I had to meet my L in a small, crowded room at the courthouse while she was giving free D advice to a large, boisterous group of people. I was really just there to sign. Then I went home. There was no weight or gravity to the situation. XH was not there. I'm curious as to how your situation transpired and how you are feeling now. Its not like in the movies, is it? No swell of the soundtrack to create a sense of drama or importance afterwards. I wonder if its the view that D is just a piece of paper for people who "stand".
Reiki sounds interesting. You and Bttrfly have me sold. I'm glad you are doing something for yourself. Massage or any kind of pampering really makes a difference in your sense of well being, doesn't it? It physically and emotionally helps.
Whatever emotions came/come later, let them come. I think its healthier than trying to fight them. And I agree, keep the focus on you. Treat yourself as if you are dating you (I know that sounds strange) often...take yourself out to dinner and a movie, or whatever would be fun or relaxing. Fun with friends is one thing...pushing to find the ability to have fun on your own is another level entirely.
You've got this. (((Kyh)))
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Today was actually alright, I did better than I thought. I almost got emotional about 2 hours before but let it go as soon as it started. I felt kind of numb to it all when I went to sign. I felt nothing really, no relief, no dread, no sadness, no happiness...nothing. Hopefully nothing comes later.
Kyh, it sounds like you did great...hope you did something for yourself afterwards...
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
yeah, it's a strange place to be, where you are at the moment. just allow yourself to feel it all and keep breathing. this too shall pass. I promise {{{{{hugs}}}}}
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
