I suggest that what you have seen as softening in your W, is due to the fact the fighting has ceased and you are not pressuring her to change her mind........ and she thinks you are moving out and she'll have the house. Also, she could sense you pulling away, and her basic instinct is to pull you back. This is not unusual responses for someone who believes they are getting what they want, without fighting tooth & nail to get it. It is very common for a wayward wife to use her H as a backup plan......just in case things with OM doesn't work out, or if she can't make it on her own. These are negatives that may first appear as small positive signs to the hopeful H.
I base this opinion more on common behaviors seen in this type of stitch, and not neccessarily just yours. I could be wrong about yours.......and I hope I am. It would be helpful to know how she treated you before engaging in an affair. Did she openly show signs of disrespect for you, through her speech and tone of voice, facial expressions and posturing, put downs, defiance, etc.?
IMHO, I think you should remain in the home.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
